Thursday, November 25, 2010

Dear Shadow.

Dear Shadow .
This particular shadow, lived deep within me, raised me..  I was so fearful , and I was never right. Always told what to do, who to become, what was expected.  I could feel my body wanting to break free from it, but I wasn't strong enough, not quiet yet, I wasn't ready. Breaking away would mean I'd be absolutely alone.  Thou it taught me life lessons, I grew to become what it wanted from me.  The day my soul was breached,  my entire being was broken in half. I had to recover, I knew I couldn't be with it no longer. No longer could I carry the burden of its chains. I wanted to run so far and so fast. I wanted to be the complete opposite, and rebel, find a new.
 So I did. I used everything I had within me, no matter how bad I knew it was going to hurt, I had to lift myself off the ground, and into the light. I had no idea where I was going... my heart pounded..  I closed my eyes, and just believed in my heart. It was such a rush, I felt so light. I kept getting higher and higher, I completely forgot where I was supposed to be going. When I touched down again, I realized that I had wandered in the wrong direction.  I knew I had some back tracking to do, so I settled down in the mountains, and followed my feet. It was a cold and lonely walk, but there was something warm I was drawn to, so I kept my heart in my hands and started to create.  I closed my eyes again, and I had this surge of energy to create & feel and I felt this sense of passion and purpose I had never felt before, at 23, I felt what it was like to really live... I will not live a life submissive to that shadow. I never felt the light, because of a forecast to change me.  And this bird You cannot change.
I will find the strength to confront the hurt, guilt and abandonment that this shadow in my life has caused. I am stronger than the dark, I will embrace it, love it, and forgive. Not because I am better than it, but it has shaped my life, character and personality. Given me a different perception, feeling, acknowledgement on life. Ultimately has made me stronger.  For that, I embrace, so I can continue living in the light, and share my journey. And BE, surrounded in the things I love. My gifts.
 So my shadow, my dear friend, let us find a balance together, I would not be me, without you.

First Chair, Last Call

Whistler Sent.

Stoke---- my last day on my board was closing day in Whistler, so it felt pretty damn good to strap in opening day. AM I DREAMING?! 
I was in good company of my best friends, and insanely high.. on life! It still amazes me how everything in your life, falls away.. and its just you and the mountain. Not a worry in the sky. 
I traveled with the Free Ride Team, and met up with the Edmonton crew in Whistler. There are very few times of the year where i can just be surrounded in that environment with the ones i love, and did it ever feel goooooood. SNOW SNOW SNOW, & more snow.  I rode all 3 days ( i have no idea physically how i kept up with myself. Drinking Pabst, watching snowboard movies, and dancing daddy's or whatever the hell Corely's dance is. I just had the best weekend ever, and i have my friends to thank!!! :) U all make me smile!

I wanted more pics on the mountain, but i could not stay warm enough to take off my gloves, so i took a few shots with the point n shoot, they turned out decent. enough to capture what i was seeing and feeling at least. 

So, that's my first blog.
the entire trip was a good story... Whistler is epic shit, i can see why no one wants to leave.